i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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