I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
