he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
