when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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