It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
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We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
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Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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