I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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