I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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