Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
