dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
