and she was petting her beer can
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the knife in your bed.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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