hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
