OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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