she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
