Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
