Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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