3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You made out with two different species that night
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
