i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
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woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
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The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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