Kiss
Puke
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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