I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Text me some of your sweat
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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