On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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