Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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