one two three fourrrrnication!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
