My brain says no but my pants say off.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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