dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
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SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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