if i died would you start the facebook group?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
