i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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