It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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