i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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