True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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