my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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