i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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