Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
