the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
