half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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