so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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