I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
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The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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