The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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