Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD