I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So vagazzling was a success
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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