I'm so fucking centered right now
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize