I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Terrible idea I love it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
