the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
