none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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