You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Vodka?
Forever.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
