I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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