out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
