from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
