so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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