where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
