RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
