VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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