You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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